The Cost of Cancer

Today I got another one of those claim forms from my insurance which says, you have met your deductible and your stop loss for 2009. I'm not quite sure exactly what that means except that I know my medical bills have now gone over the $10,000 mark. Along with some of the insurance claim forms I have received medical bills from several different clinics, radiology departments, hospitals and doctors and more are on the way. It's kind of weird that I feel peaceful about all these accumulating bills and I guess that's because I just can't get stressed out by financial matters at this point.

I've always been poor I suppose, not dirt poor as in not having clothes, shoes, a roof over my head or food to eat. But poor as in the lowest working class income range, living paycheck to paycheck and getting by on what I have. Being a single home owner with credit card debt isn't exactly where I'd hope to be at this stage of my life but none the less here I am and as an added bonus, I have cancer! Seriously I'm in the hole after I pay all my bills at the first of the month by about $50.00 and I haven't even figured in gas for my car or food to eat. Being able to work some overtime is the only thing that saves me and gets me through each month.

Now I'm not complaining or crying poor pitiful me, I'm just stating facts. I'm struggling to make ends meet and to pay bills to keep that almighty credit score at a "fair" level, but for the life of me I don't know that it matters right now. If I'd made better decisions in my life no doubt I would be in a much better financial situation, but I didn't so I have to just deal with what I have. And if I'd made better decisions regarding my education, my choices in relationships, moves that I have made, would I still have cancer? Would I still be in financial stress? I don't know and it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I'm doing the best I can with what I have and accept the responsibility for my bills. Those credit cards should be given out with a warning "may be hazardous to your credit life".

At the end of the day so to speak in the treatment of my cancer there is not only a high physical and mental cost, but of course a high dollar cost. I'm thankful for my insurance and my heart goes out to those who need care and do not have insurance. In a country where most anything can happen, anyone can do anything they want, marry who they want, say anything they want, wear anything they want and worship anyway they want, isn't it ironic that they can't get any medical care that they want. What a shame, so again looking at my life and finances I am reminded how fortunate that I am. I at least have a job with insurance and I can pay my bills so far, and when all those medical bills start rolling in, I'll have to bargain with everyone or maybe just toss all the bills up in the air each month in a little circle and the ones that stay inside the circle are the ones that I can pay. LOL Oh well no matter how you look at it, things could always be worse!