All Clear on number 4!

Great news! Yesterday I had my 4th chemo and got the test results of my all my scrans from Monday, hallejuhah they were all clear with the exception of course of the cyst on my ovary that we are watching and taking care! It does appear that I have arthritis in most of my body, is that old age or can I blame this on the chemo.. surely it has to be the cancer, the chemo or something.. I'm only 39 right Tina? LOL

It does seem like the 4th chemo went very fast and I made some new friends who happen to be from Batesville or all places. Fred and Anna, she was there to get a treatment for Hogkins Lymphoma I beleive she said. They acutally live right around the corner from me. And I got an email address from Stepanie another breast cancer survivor because her treatments are changing and I may not see her again in treatment, but we plan on meeting up at the Race for the Cure in October. It's always great making new friends but I surely my the ones I had already are the ones who make is so easy to go through all this and so again I have to say thank you to them.

Jimmie brought me down to chemo and stayed with me taking naps in his truck and then took me to Chili's where he fed me and handed me off to Angella who brought me back to his house of the river..my haven and Jmmmie says, "my bed and breakfast". Brent, Angella's fella, a very sweet guy, was able to meet us at Chili's as well. He was my hero the first trip I had to make to Little Rock to see Dr. Hagans when we had that huge ice storm. Angella was going to take me and Brent came to our rescue, and we certainly were happy to see him! So I salute my hero's Jimmie and Brent and I am eternally grateful for Angella and her continuous friendship for the past almost 7 years now.

Back at the river house I relaxed, enjoyed sitting out on the porch swing watching the river, soaking in that big ol tub and watching the American Idol results show. Our Arkansas boy is still in the race and now it's going to be even harder because I think the four that are left are very good and they will most likely have wonderful music careers regardless of who wins the title.

Well I'm getting rained on out here on the porch this morning so I'm retreating to the house, a shower, a cup of coffee and then unfortnately, pack up and back to Batesville to take my Nuelasta shot and then get back to the work grind. I'm happy.. I'm satisified and I'm so grateful that even though cancer does suck.. therer is truely a light at the end of the tunnel.. so if you can't see it in the begginng.. just keep looking.. you'll see it.. OHHHH I'M GETTING WET.. HANG ON LAPTOP..

Look Good Feel Better

Monday I went to a Look Good Feel Better program session. It's a program service for women with cancer who are going through chemotherapy and other treatments that helps them look better and then of course feel better. The sessions last about two hours and you get a bag with free makeup from sponsors like Clinique, Avon, Channel and other name brands. I also got to order a wig and was given a used one. I don't know if all of the LGFB programs do this but we did here in Batesville. It was a pretty neat experience and I got to take my friend Reba with me. She didn't get the free makeup and she doesn't need a wig but she is interested in volunteering for the program, in fact we both would like to be volunteers in this program but we have to go through training and they don't' have it too often. It is a very good service though and I really appreciate the founders of this program. I hope some day that I can give back for all the has been given to me.

Last Friday I went to a mini Relay for Life and walked a survivors lap, it felt good to think of myself as a survivor. It was only a small crowd but a lot of people were there walking. It was sponsored by the Batesville school district elementary schools. The schools had different booths and were selling raffle tickets, cupcakes, and other things. My friends Kevin and Katie were there to walk the lap with me. Katie's daughter, Sullivan is in the Westside performing arts school and they did a dance routine. The kids were so cute performing their routines. The big Relay for Life is May 29th and I'll be there for that one too and I'm going to a Survivors Banquet May 22nd. Then in October I'll be going to Little Rock to walk and take part in the Race for the Cure, for Breast Cancer...

On another note, I picked up the two bottles of barium contrast to drink on Sunday night and Monday morning for my scans. I have been scheduled for a bone scan, brain scan and CT scans of the chest, gastric tract and pelvic area. Since nothing has ever showed up in any of my scans except for the cyst on my ovary, I'm hoping that everything will be clear. I'll know that on next Wednesday when I go for my fourth chemo.

I'm really ready to get this fourth one finished so I can be on the downhill side of my chemo treatments. Still no nausea and I'm so thankful for that. What I have found with each chemo is that I do tire more easily and that the sun absolutely drains me, if I'm out in it too long. My blood counts continue to be good and so thank the good Lord everything is going well.

As always I'm so thankful for my friends who are always there to lend a helping hand in any situation. Whenever I feel so exhausted that I don't want to move, I start to feel a little sad and lonely and then I remember my family and my friends and how fortunate I am to be surrounded with love from them all.....then I don't feel sad and lonely anymore.

That's all for now, stay tuned for an update...whenever!!!

Halfway there!

It was a great day on Saturday before Easter after my third chemo and I'm halway there to the finish line! Yippee!!!! Jimmie is an excellent host and he always teases me about his bed & breakfast accomodations, but in truth, it's much better than any places I've stayed. His beautiful river house has seen guest from all around the country and he's even had a wedding there on his dock. So I'm very grateful that he takes the time out of his busy schedule to be my friend and to go with me through this chemo ride. Not only does he take me to my chemo treatment but he provides me with a comforting place to rest and relax after each treatment. God is great isn't he to bring folks like this into your life!

Saturday morning we got up and took Jimmie's fishing boat to the river ramp to launch it so we could float downstream. It was quite an adventure since it was the first time it had been put in the water and we didn't know exactly how it was going to run. Well it spit and sputted and then it just putter along, quitting a couple times at which time Jimmie had to pull start the engine again. That was okay because he sat back by the motor while I got to drive the boat. We made the three mile trip down river to his house and docked.

After getting refreshments, you gotta have those when you fish, Jimmie showed me how to bait a hook with some stinky bait and how to cast the rod. My first catch of the day was tree, mmmm delicious! After a few tries I did manage to get the hook into the right area around the dock and set the pole down and take my place in the chair. NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL FISHING! Jimmie kept telling me I would know when I had a bite and sure enough when that line started tugging I realed in a HUGE FISH.. look in the picture! Well maybe it wasn't huge, but I can't ever remember catching a fish so it was HUGE to me! Never fear though the little thing was happy to be set free and swim back under the dock to grow up and be caught again someday.

Karen came over and we went for another boat ride. This time we went back up the river all the way to the dam as far as you can take your boat and then we took the boat out of the water. It was a great day for a ride, a little windy but the sun felt good and thankfully I had enough energy to get through the day and enjoy it. After a delcious dinner with the neigbors I was completely exhuasted but feeling very happy.

Easter Sunday was rainy and cool and I felt the brunt of my chemo and Nuelasta shot and didn't make it to church. Those body aches and some of those other uncomfortable side effects took over and I was wiped out for most of the day. Still no nausea or throwing up and I'm grateful for that and not complaining but my energy level is really low right now. Even after a good nights sleep on Sunday I wasn't energized by Monday and only worked through noon. I've rested and slept most of the afternoon but I still feel very tired. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I've come to understand the "exhausted" phase of chemo...and I must admit, I DON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH! I do know that I have to listen to my body and get rest but it really is a pain when the energy levels have been so great. You think I can't believe I'm going through chemo and then it hits! Pure exhaustion and feeling like you've worked all day long doing manual labor. But kick that ol PMA (positive mental attitude) in and say... this too shall pass! The good days outweigh the bad and that's a good thing! (gosh, do I sound like Martha Stewart)? oh my gawd! LOL

Hit me one more time with those side effects! (CLICK TO READ ABOUT CHEMO SIDE EFFECTS)

The drugs that go into your body during chemotherapy are toxic waste! LOL Well, almost but they have to be deadly to kills cancer cells, the only down side to that is that they kill healthy cells as well. That's why we lose our hair, our nails turn black, our skin gets dry, we feel tired more easily, we forget things when we have that chemo brain going on.....and..HMMMMM I forgot what I was writing about! LOL Oh yeah chemo side effects, that's it! I'm very lucky that I haven't been nauseated or sick during my chemo, I'm fortunate that my CBC's (blood count levels) have been good because when those get low it's not good. In fact today was the first time in my life that I was told by a doctor not to lose weight! Even though my taste buds are changing and I can understand why Tina said,"who wants to eat a spoon" when everything has a metallic taste. Although chocolate and ice cream still taste pretty good to me so I'm good to go! lol and I had a good report as well today.

It was my third chemo and I'm halfway through my treatment. As Dr. Harrington was examining me today, she asked me if I was checking my breast regularly and thought she felt a lump. I told her that I had a cyst in the right breast that Dr. Hagans said was only a cyst and had showed me on the mammogram the difference between a lump with cancer and a just a lump. But as we were talking about that my mind was racing with thoughts and in the back of my mind it was screaming 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BOTH THOSE BOOBS SLICED OFF AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT!'
So what about second thoughts... should I have chosen the other option of having a full mastectomy?.....when will I not be afraid of finding more lumps? here's where I had to kick that ole negative bitch in the butt and say....PMA RULES..SO GET OUTTA MY BACKDOOR MIND! and so .....

On the positive side, Dr. Harrington said I was doing very well with my treatment and is pleased with all my labs. I will be having scans before my next chemo to see if the chemo is working or if there is any cancer showing up anywhere in my body. I'm thinking positive here and ahead of time hoping and praying that that will be the case. My friend Barbara, owner of the green wig, said that every time she had a chemo treatment she felt it killing the cancer and she knew she was getting better. I liked hearing that and I think that's a great way to look at all the side effects. They are only temporary and each time that toxic waste goes into my body, those little cancer cells are disappearing...the good healthy cells are too, but they will rebuild and I'll be as good as new..no wait let me restate that.. I'LL BE BETTER THAN EVER! Because I'll be a winner...a survivor...I'll be alive and well and I'll never forget that.

I'll never be afraid to tell people I love them and I hope that my actions will show them that as well. I'll always look for ways to help others and give back because I've been given so much. I'll take time to spend time with my family and friends and make phone calls and write emails and send cards. I'll enjoy getting out and having the strength to work in my yard and enjoy each changing season. I'll go to bed when I'm tired even though it's only 7pm or stay up late if I want to and surf the net, watch TV, or make something crafty. I'll wear silly hats and wigs and fun clothes and jewelery and wont' care what other people think, if it makes someone smile or laugh, then it's worth the weird stares. What I will do is enjoy life, be grateful for each day and on days that I am bitching about something that doesn't matter a hill of beans....I hope one of my wonderful friends will kick my butt and remind me that I don't have anything to bitch about!

LIFE IS GOOD AND I'M GLAD I'M IN IT!

IBC - Inflammatory Breast Cancer

There's more than one kind of breast cancer and a lot of people don't know about this one.