Hit me one more time with those side effects! (CLICK TO READ ABOUT CHEMO SIDE EFFECTS)

The drugs that go into your body during chemotherapy are toxic waste! LOL Well, almost but they have to be deadly to kills cancer cells, the only down side to that is that they kill healthy cells as well. That's why we lose our hair, our nails turn black, our skin gets dry, we feel tired more easily, we forget things when we have that chemo brain going on.....and..HMMMMM I forgot what I was writing about! LOL Oh yeah chemo side effects, that's it! I'm very lucky that I haven't been nauseated or sick during my chemo, I'm fortunate that my CBC's (blood count levels) have been good because when those get low it's not good. In fact today was the first time in my life that I was told by a doctor not to lose weight! Even though my taste buds are changing and I can understand why Tina said,"who wants to eat a spoon" when everything has a metallic taste. Although chocolate and ice cream still taste pretty good to me so I'm good to go! lol and I had a good report as well today.

It was my third chemo and I'm halfway through my treatment. As Dr. Harrington was examining me today, she asked me if I was checking my breast regularly and thought she felt a lump. I told her that I had a cyst in the right breast that Dr. Hagans said was only a cyst and had showed me on the mammogram the difference between a lump with cancer and a just a lump. But as we were talking about that my mind was racing with thoughts and in the back of my mind it was screaming 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BOTH THOSE BOOBS SLICED OFF AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT!'
So what about second thoughts... should I have chosen the other option of having a full mastectomy?.....when will I not be afraid of finding more lumps? here's where I had to kick that ole negative bitch in the butt and say....PMA RULES..SO GET OUTTA MY BACKDOOR MIND! and so .....

On the positive side, Dr. Harrington said I was doing very well with my treatment and is pleased with all my labs. I will be having scans before my next chemo to see if the chemo is working or if there is any cancer showing up anywhere in my body. I'm thinking positive here and ahead of time hoping and praying that that will be the case. My friend Barbara, owner of the green wig, said that every time she had a chemo treatment she felt it killing the cancer and she knew she was getting better. I liked hearing that and I think that's a great way to look at all the side effects. They are only temporary and each time that toxic waste goes into my body, those little cancer cells are disappearing...the good healthy cells are too, but they will rebuild and I'll be as good as new..no wait let me restate that.. I'LL BE BETTER THAN EVER! Because I'll be a winner...a survivor...I'll be alive and well and I'll never forget that.

I'll never be afraid to tell people I love them and I hope that my actions will show them that as well. I'll always look for ways to help others and give back because I've been given so much. I'll take time to spend time with my family and friends and make phone calls and write emails and send cards. I'll enjoy getting out and having the strength to work in my yard and enjoy each changing season. I'll go to bed when I'm tired even though it's only 7pm or stay up late if I want to and surf the net, watch TV, or make something crafty. I'll wear silly hats and wigs and fun clothes and jewelery and wont' care what other people think, if it makes someone smile or laugh, then it's worth the weird stares. What I will do is enjoy life, be grateful for each day and on days that I am bitching about something that doesn't matter a hill of beans....I hope one of my wonderful friends will kick my butt and remind me that I don't have anything to bitch about!

LIFE IS GOOD AND I'M GLAD I'M IN IT!