6 Lessons learned from cancer

Just wanted to post this, I found it on the chemocare.com site a Scot Hamilton program initative...and my favorite figure skater of all time! It was posted by Greg a cancer survivor and I think it applies to everyone, not only those of us who have or have had cancer. It's when we do go through our darkest times that we realize this very first lesson is what helps us to learn and understand the other 5 lessons.

6 Lessons I learned from my cancer

Lesson #1: Many more people genuinely care about you than you can possibly know - and they are ready to do everything in their power to help you through your treatment.

Lesson #2: God is NOT mean - sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Lesson #3: All big words have simple explanations - you just have to keep asking until you get it.

Lesson #4: Not all doctors are very good; but some doctors are outstanding; and personally dedicated to making you get well again. The same can be said for Nurses, Radiation Techs, and Receptionists. Take the time to find the really good ones.

Lesson #5: It's OK to have a bad day. You're sick; you don't have to happy about it.

Lesson #6: You're a LOT tougher than you think you are - you CAN DO this.

Red/green/black the race is on!

Well my first chemo and the port placement went well, no problems so far. I did wear my green wig and cap, was fun! LOL It wasn't as bad as I thought and I'm praying these nausea meds work, so far they are and the only side effect is a bit of tingling that I think is normal and will go away.

It's a good thing to take a book, a blanket, a laptop, an mp3 player and a sense of humor to chemo treatments. I think next time I go I'm going to have to take a bag on wheels for all my stuff! LOL As TinaRE said, nothing happens fast when you have BC. So they give you a nausea med drip, flush your port, a steriod, flush your port, the first chemo drip drug, can't remember that name, flush your port, the second chemo drug, flush your port and then the last one....THE RED DEVIL, that's the one that makes your hair fall out and then they flush your port! You sort of feel like a good working toliet by the time they are finished!

Everyone is very nice and loved my green wig and ballcap, just wait till I go in with the green eyebrows! If you gotta have BC you gotta have a good sense of humor and attitude! Along with a loving family and great support group who go out of their way to take care of you. My friend Karen took me to Little Rock to the Hickinbottham outpatient clinic at the surgical pavilion. There another friend Jimmie was waiting to be with me through my Iport placement and chemo treatment. After treatment he drove me to Cabot to meet Angella another member of the 'relay' team who brought me home where my beautiful mother was waiting to stay with me for a few days. What more could I ask for I am so blessed!

A special thanks for the prayer shawl from the St. James Methodist Church in Little Rock. Thank you Jimmie and Cynthia for giving them my name. The shawl is beautiful and I wore it all day. This special shawl was knitted or crocheted by ladies and gentlemen who prayed for me as they were working on it. Doesn't that just beat all, so many kind and caring people in this world. Sometimes we focus so much on the ugly things/people that we forget how wonderful people really are. .

Tomorrow is the day...

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm going in tomorrow to have an Infusion port placed somewhere.. .lol I think in my chest area for my chemo treatments. After that I'll have my first chemo treatment. The good news is that I can get the Neulasta shot here in Batesville, to build up white blood cells.. My CAT scan showed I had a brain..whod'a thought it and that it's clear of any debris, my Mugga scan showed that my numbers were normal so that means I can get the really good chemo cocktail.

I have to see a gynocologist about the legion on my ovary..joy bells! LOL I've never been so looked at in and outside so much in my life. It's very weird!

I'm a bit nervous and anxious tonite but I know everything is going to be okay, it's just the unknown. After I get that first chemo going on I won't give it a second thought I'm sure. I'll touch base with you again on the flip side of this chemo adventure. So stay tuned and have a great Thursday! As always thank you all for your positive comments, your thoughts, and your prayers! I feel very loved and I'm so thankful for you my dear family and friends. I thank God for bringing you into my life as friends and you are my family, well you don't have a choice....you're stuck with me!

You're in the Army now!

Get Them Wigs Ready Girls!

Hello there! Here's an update regarding my doctor visits today. Dr. Hagans, my surgeon said I'm healing well and I'll see him again in 4 weeks. Dr. Harrington, my oncologist and a woman was very nice and thorough. She is ordering a CAT scan to see if I have a brain, some kind of heart test to determine the kind of chemo I will have because there is one kind that can weaken your heart and a ultra sound to make sure the mass on my ovary is only a cyst. These test can be done in Batesville and hopefully will be done in the next day or so. After those test are completed and Dr. Harrington has the result she will set up a time for Dr. Hagans to insert an IPORT which is under the skin so the chemo and blood labs can all be taken from that, at least I think that's what she said. I will have 6 chemo treatments of one every three weeks. After that I will have 6 weeks of radiation and then after that I will take a pill for a long time. They will give me a nausea drug before each chemo treatment and two pills to take after each treatment as well as a prescription for something to take as needed. There's a 50/50 chance I'll lose my hair, but I'm prepared I got lots of wigs, caps, do rags, and scarves thanks to Barbara, Michelle and Tina! I even have a really green one for luck to wear on the days of chemo! It looks like I'll most likely be starting chemo sometime next week which Dr. Harrington said would be better than this week anyway to give my body another week to heal from the surgery.

Looks like we're on a roll here! So thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers! I do appreciate them all so much! I'll send along a pic of the green wig...it'll be good for a laugh or maybe even as a garden deterrent! LOL

No More tubes! YIPPEE

Today was my followup doctor visit after surgery and it went very well. I got that horrible drain tube out and don't have to wear that surgical bra again... I feel free whoohoo!!! I'm healing nicely and will go back next Monday to just check and make sure I'm continuing to do so and I'll also have a consultation with my onocologist, Dr. Harrington. She comes very highly recommended and my surgeron loves her he said and so does his nurse.

So all is well and I'm going back to work tomorrow. Another week of healing and then I should know more about chemo and radiation treatments. I do have in my possession a bag full of wigs of all colors and styles. So even if I don't lose my hair I'll have fun playing dress up. My favorite I think is a sassy short red one, so who knows I may even become a red head!!!!

More next week and as always, thank you so much for your emails, your tags of support and encouragement and your frienship.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND AS MY FRIEND LEN SAYS.. PMA POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE!!!!!

Node Sense

THE VERDICT IS IN!!!!
Hi there, well Dr. Hagans just called with the rest of my test results. Two nodes showed signs of cancer which means I will have to have some chemotherapy and will be going to see an oncologist. I will be seeing either Dr. Harrington, a woman, or Dr. Mendelson, a man who are partners and both come highly recommended by my friends, Katie and Valerie who both have mothers who are breast cancers survivors.

My cancer is a stage 2 on the lower end which is good and very curable. The whole tumor was removed and the margins around the area are all clear for signs of cancer but I will have radiation to the breast to make sure to save the breast from any cancer returning there. No cancer cells in my blood or other areas of my body.

This is pretty much what I expected to hear from the doctor so I am satisfied and positive that everything is going to be just fine and dandy!!! It will just take some time to get there and at times it may be a bit rough. But it is through the darkest times that we grow in spirit and become who we are meant to be.

I may have a really COOL hair do and some great looking wigs..hoochie ones too....

and as always thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!!!

Them Tests They Do

I'm so thankful that my surgery went well and it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It seems to be the same way with my test results as well. After I had my surgery where at least two and maybe a few more lymph nodes were removed I was sent to get blood work and then to the nuclear department to be filled with radioactive dye and yummy strawberry kiwi crystal light reactive juice for a CT scan of my chest, adomen and pelvis. After that I was allowed to eat and I have to admit I was starving and the hospital food was pretty good. Then it was back to the bone scan and then I was on the way home in the capable and caring hands of my wonderful friend. God sends us special people in our lives because he is smart like that and so about 5 months ago he sent me one. I've always wondered if you could have a friend of the opposite sex for a best type friend without having the sex type friend and now I can answer that...yes you can!!!! So I thank God for my heaven sent Jimmie who kept me positive, calm and reassured the whole way.

When I arrived at home back in Batesville my mom was here to greet me and it was a wonderful site to be sure. How very fortunate I am to still have my mother with me and that she can still drive and is a very active almost 83 year old....but don't tell her that she thinks she's 39!!! She will be here with me until Thursday and then my friend Karen will come to stay a couple days. In the mean time I have been overwhelmed by the amount of love shown by the cards, flowers, food and visits I have recieved.

My precious clients made me homemade cards that not only touched my heart but my funny bones as well... here are just a couple of the inscrpitions or tags from a few: BREAST CANCER ALERT!!!! GET WELL SOON, MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU, WE PRAY FOR YOU EVERY DAY, I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT I THINK AND PRAY FOR YOU, GET WELL SOON YOU BRIGHTEN UP EACH CLASS WITH YOUR SMILE THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH, HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL AND ON THE MEND AND HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY AND GET WELL. and one of my favorites..

Sandra...we say your name....HERE'S LOOKING A YOU KID....YOU BETTER GET WELL, YOU BETTER GET WELL, COS IF YOU DON'T, WHAT WE'LL WE DO? YOU BETTER FLY, I'LL TELL YOU WHY, IF YOU DON'T WHAT WILL WE DO?

from Mike....at slow kite productions!

Now how in the world could I not be having fun with a group of folks like that? And the cards are very colorful as well. .so God bless them all!

And again thank all of you for your well wishes, thoughts, support and prayers and some day, my journal will be about something other than BC.

My test results from the scans and blood labs have come back clear with the exception of one spot on an ovary that they suspect is a cyst and I do have a history of those, so that's good. I will get the results of the nodes and other tissue today. Monday the 9th is my return visit and we will discuss treatment options and get that started.

So as usual .....stay tuned the best is yet to come!

Calling ... Dr. Hagans

BC SURGERY

Well I'm glad to tell you that I got the dreaded first visit over with the breast surgeon yesterday and it was a positive experience. Here is what the doctor said: I am a very good candidate for lumpectomy surgery or breast conservation surgery. I will go to Little Rock Sunday and I will have the surgery at 7am, have a bone scan, CT scans and some lab blood work and then I'll be able to go home. The lump and some of the lymph nodes will be remove and will be tested for cancerous cells. If the nodes are positive or there are any other signs of cancer I will need to have chemotherapy treatments of some kinds depending on a lot of factors. If everything is negative I will have localized radiation treatments only to the breast for a period of 6 weeks 5 days a week and the treatments are only 5 minutes and I can do the treatments here in Batesville. I'll know the day after my surgery if I will have to have chemo and when I go bad to have drain tubes removed after a week chemo will be discussed with my surgeon and an oncologist. Whether I have chemo or not I will have radiation.

I LOVE Dr. Hagans!!! He said as the cure rate between a full mastectomy and the lumpectomy is 4% which just means that much difference in the cancer returning. He also said that it is possible that the lab who diagnosed my cancer as grade 3 (fast growing) could possibly be wrong and I could be a lower grade cancer and this would be determined after the surgery. At this point he said it was not accurate to stage the cancer but my tumor is about 2 cm and if he had to guess he would say it is between a stage 1 and 2 with 0 being the lowest and 5 being the highest stage. He told me that I am in his hands now and he was going to take care of me and was very positive.

My friends Angella and Brent with me, Brent drove thank goodness because it starting freezing rain on the way home and it took us about 3 hours to get home from Little Rock which normally only takes about an hour and half.

Well there ya go that's my news so far... Stay tuned for the next episode...same station...times will vary!!!! LOL and thanks so much for your thoughts, prayers, encouragement and well wishes.

Faith

Since I was diagnosed with BC last week I've been so touched by love, caring and kindness of others that's it's been a times overwhelming. Durin­g the past week I've been overwhelmed and because I know that I have the love, support and prayers of a lot of people I have strength and courage to face whatever will be coming my way.

Today I just want to say what these words mean to me. Hope, Faith, Love, Courage and Strength. I found courage to face the fact that I have BC and to tell others and it is because of their love for me that I find the strength everyday when I wake up and the first thing I think is "oh yeah, I have BC and it isn't just a dream" to go on and get ready to go into work. It's easy to be positive when I know others are looking at me to see how I am presenting myself. And I am so fortunate to have the honor to work with some caring and loving people who've offered their time to take off from work to take me to doctors appointments or treatments or to stay with me and my hand or the trash can ...or whatever I need. Some people just say that and you know they don't really mean it. or they do mean it, but it's just something they say in passing. I KNOW my friends MEAN IT!

This week when I went to get a haircut I told my hairdresser, Michelle, that I had BC, she was very positive and supportive and we talked the way you do with your hairdresser about this and that. She wouldn't let me pay for my haircut and she gave me the cap I am wearing in my pics and said that she wanted me to wear it to my treatments and have faith that I was going to be okay. I was very touched and again felt blessed. So here's a plug for Michelles' Spa and Salon....YOU ROCK MICHELLE!!!

Yesterday I recieved a small package in the mail from Cordova TN. I didn't recognize the name of the package but thought I used to know people there because I lived in Memphis for a long time and worked near Cordova. When I opened the package, inside was card that spoke of finding out you have cancer and knowing that there is hope. The lady wrote me a personal message that said my name came to her from her cousin who was a friend of a friend of mine. She just wanted to send this braclet to let me know that she was praying for me and to give me hope because she was a survivor. I stood there with tears running down my face because this woman I didn't even know had taken the time to make this beautiful braclet and send it to me. I called my friend and thanked him and he told me, "Sam" he calls me that, you have people praying for you all over AR and TN .

So many special people in my life have shown me love, have given me hope for a full recovery, the courage to get up each day to face whatever comes along, the strength in those moments when I start to doubt, and all this combined has restored my faith and I feel so blessed to know that surely their is a higher power, a God who has put these people in my life..

So thank you all so much for your words of enourgement, support and your prayers... And as another friend says.. KEEP A PMA... A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE!!! :)

OH NO! I'VE GOT BREAST CANCER!

Have you ever wondered how you'd feel if you were told that you had cancer, especially breast cancer? Well I found out today that I have breast cancer, invasive and high grade! (I wouldn't have any other kind lol) I was relieved to find out that even though it was bad news, it wasn't the worst it could be and is treatable and there is a high survival rate for what I have.

I've been a big gal all my life and my weight has gone up and down like a yo yo and so have my boobs! LOL I've lost 50 pounds in the past 6 months so the boobs are of course smaller than they were. When I found the lump last week I tired to convence myself that it wasn't anything to be concerned about. But I had this feeling in my gut that it was more than just a harmless lump. After a breast examination by my doctor and his voice of concern, I ws even more sure that something was up.

Yesterday I had the dreaded diagnostic mammogram, then we moved into the ultra sound room and the Dr. from radiology came in and said she thought it was a cancer and gave me some options. I chose to have a biopsy to know for sure what it was. Today my fears were confirmed it is cancer.

So how did I react? Yesterday I was filled with fear and felt pretty much alone. I didn't know who to tell or what to tell and I barely slept thinking about it.. I just wanted to know. I guess we reach out to those we think will care about us first or those we care about. So that's exactly what I did, I just started emailing, calling and telling everyone....well not my mother. I'm not ready for that yet.

Today my email box was full of best wishes and offers of help to be there for me no matter what I have to go through and my friends at work have all been wonderful. Whatever I have to go through now I know that I won't have to do it alone and I know that when I have to start treatments in Little Rock I have those who will go with me and hold my hand or a trash can for me if I need it.

I've always joked about shaving my head to see how I'd look bald, looks like I might find out! LOL And if I gotta loose these boobs, I'm thinking Dolly Parton! LOL What ya think?

I plan on writing about my experiences here since I do believe it's great therapy to write down your feelings.. so thanks for letting me share my journey to recovery with you.

1/14/09