5 Years! No way!
My goodness I'm thinking this morning, I'm a 5 year survivor! Time sure does fly when you're having fun doesn't it? :) It was five year ago this month that I finished my radiation and had scans that showed all clear. It doesn't seem like it's been five years, I just don't know where the time goes. What I do know is that I'm a different person now than I was when I was first diagnosed and I sure hope changed for the better.
So much has happened since I last sat down to post my thoughts, now I have had some thoughts mind you, I just didn't share them here! LOL During this time I have renewed my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and although I will never be 'perfect' I am forgiven, I am loved unconditionally, and I am and never will be ALONE! This has given me great comfort and it's my relationship with Him that gets me through each day.
And even as I sit here cancer free, my heart is sad and my spirit are burdened for those who still fighting the battle, for those who have just learned they have a battle to fight and for those friends and family who have lost the battle in these last few years.
Did I mention that I HATE CANCER! 
It may seem crazy to you because I do hate cancer, but I can honestly say that having cancer was a blessing in desquise. It may not have been how I wanted to spend part of my life. Going through cancer treatment is no picnic no matter how you slice it, but the blessing on the other side for me has been beyond anything I could imagine.
So there is hope and life beyond the chemo, radiation, surgery, and seemingly endless dr's visits. I know for some those times may be breif anf few but they are precious and when you have hope you have everything. I would like to share my hope with you and HIS name IS JESUS! No matter what you have to go through He will be right there with you to get you through even in the darkest hour.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom."
Isaiah 40:28
One day there will be no cancer! I'm praying for that day and for those that I know are still fighting or have just begun the fight. We are sisters and brothers and this is my prayer for you- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
Giving Back
Wow it's been too long since I've written anything here and I thought I should at least put down a few words. I've been doing great, everything is clear and my blood work is good just still a bit low in iron. So I've been taking iron supplements and hopefully that will help. I'm scheduled to see my oncologist this month but just hoping and expecting good news.
Tomorrow night, June 11th is our Relay for Life here in Independence county AR. I started a team this year and named it PMA (positive mental attitude) after my good friend Len who has been so encouraging through my whole process. He's our honorary team captain and I know he will be with us in spirit tomorrow night as we walk for those who have won the fight and also in memory of those who haven't. It's a bit ironic that the Relay is on the 11th because it's just one day off my last chemo treatment last year. I walked in the survivors lap last year even though I was still in treatment, this year I will really feel like a survivor, for this year anyway! One year at a time right?
I've had survivors tell me that they had just as soon not have anything to do with cancer relays or anything because they want to forget all about their struggle. As for me, I NEVER WANT TO FORGET! I want to remember that life is precious and that this disease kills so many people every year and I won't stop giving back when I can and as much as I can until the word CANCER is just a memory in history which I hope will happen in my lifetime.
Tonight I am looking forward to walking the 'survivors lap' and for the luminary ceremony that will pay tribute to those who are still with us and for those whose memory we hold dear in our hearts. And I thank you God for another day to remember that you have given me another chance at this precious thing called LIFE!
Tomorrow night, June 11th is our Relay for Life here in Independence county AR. I started a team this year and named it PMA (positive mental attitude) after my good friend Len who has been so encouraging through my whole process. He's our honorary team captain and I know he will be with us in spirit tomorrow night as we walk for those who have won the fight and also in memory of those who haven't. It's a bit ironic that the Relay is on the 11th because it's just one day off my last chemo treatment last year. I walked in the survivors lap last year even though I was still in treatment, this year I will really feel like a survivor, for this year anyway! One year at a time right?
I've had survivors tell me that they had just as soon not have anything to do with cancer relays or anything because they want to forget all about their struggle. As for me, I NEVER WANT TO FORGET! I want to remember that life is precious and that this disease kills so many people every year and I won't stop giving back when I can and as much as I can until the word CANCER is just a memory in history which I hope will happen in my lifetime.
Tonight I am looking forward to walking the 'survivors lap' and for the luminary ceremony that will pay tribute to those who are still with us and for those whose memory we hold dear in our hearts. And I thank you God for another day to remember that you have given me another chance at this precious thing called LIFE!
One year past diagnosis
Today I went to see my GP DR to get my prescriptions refilled and just for a quick checkup. It has been a year since I saw him with my lumpy breast. After we chatted for a few minutes to catch up on all that has been going on with me in the past year he did the normal checkup stuff and wrote out my prescriptions. How different this visit was from the one last January.
By this time last January I had been diagnosed with BC and had an appointment with Dr. Hagans the breast cancer surgeon in Little Rock. My friends were all rallying around me to show their support and people were putting me on prayer list. Tina was telling me things she remembered about her trips to the doctors and chemo etc. and making me feel very positive and knew I had to keep a sense of humor throughout whatever the outcome.
Even though I do have quite a bit of energy, I still get tired easily and I get a little aggravated because I'm clear of cancer and all my treatments are over and I think everything should be normal. I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay if I'm not up to snuff still and that my body has been through hell and it just takes time. So it's okay if I go to bed early and on days that I'm off it's okay that I take a nap or just lie down to rest if I feel the need. Because when I listen to my body and do rest I get up feeling refreshed.
Next week I'll be going to see my chemo doctor and get the blood labs and all that. She told me that I would be coming to see her about every three months for a year or so and that my visits would gradually be not as frequent. So I guess here I am a year later and truly on the top end of my road to recovery. Now if I can just get through my birthday this year without getting too depressed everything will be okay.
I'll be sixty in a month. When I was thirty I cried for two weeks and at times I feel like crying now but when I get to thinking about the alternative and the last year of my life, I do feel more like celebrating than crying. I just have to keep telling myself that everyday until I have to start writing my age as 60 instead of 59. Maybe I should make little cards and hang them all around the house that says.....yipppeee I made it to 60.... life is beautiful... I survive breast cancer and thank God I'm gonna be 60!
A year after my diagnosis and I'm alive and well and thank you lord for allowing me another year!
By this time last January I had been diagnosed with BC and had an appointment with Dr. Hagans the breast cancer surgeon in Little Rock. My friends were all rallying around me to show their support and people were putting me on prayer list. Tina was telling me things she remembered about her trips to the doctors and chemo etc. and making me feel very positive and knew I had to keep a sense of humor throughout whatever the outcome.
Even though I do have quite a bit of energy, I still get tired easily and I get a little aggravated because I'm clear of cancer and all my treatments are over and I think everything should be normal. I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay if I'm not up to snuff still and that my body has been through hell and it just takes time. So it's okay if I go to bed early and on days that I'm off it's okay that I take a nap or just lie down to rest if I feel the need. Because when I listen to my body and do rest I get up feeling refreshed.
Next week I'll be going to see my chemo doctor and get the blood labs and all that. She told me that I would be coming to see her about every three months for a year or so and that my visits would gradually be not as frequent. So I guess here I am a year later and truly on the top end of my road to recovery. Now if I can just get through my birthday this year without getting too depressed everything will be okay.
I'll be sixty in a month. When I was thirty I cried for two weeks and at times I feel like crying now but when I get to thinking about the alternative and the last year of my life, I do feel more like celebrating than crying. I just have to keep telling myself that everyday until I have to start writing my age as 60 instead of 59. Maybe I should make little cards and hang them all around the house that says.....yipppeee I made it to 60.... life is beautiful... I survive breast cancer and thank God I'm gonna be 60!
A year after my diagnosis and I'm alive and well and thank you lord for allowing me another year!
Holiday Cheer and welcome the New Year!
Just the other day after someone mentioned it, I realized that we were heading into a new decade! I've been concentrating so much on just another new year and sixty years of being here on this planet for me that I didn't even conceive of the idea of another ten years. It certainly doesn't seem like ten years since all the world was waiting to see what would happen with the Y2K thing. All around the world on New Year's Ever celebrations like never before were going on and I watched them all day on the telly from our flat in Harlow, Essex, UK. The fireworks were beautiful, computers didn't crash, the world didn't go offline and all was well with the world.
One thing is for sure I never gave having breast cancer a second thought ten years ago. No one in my family had ever had it well not on my side of the family. The other side, my sister-in-law Jeanie's family is one of those families that has carried the breast cancer gene through several generations. Chemotherapy is not fun these days but back thirty years ago poor Jeanie was in bed for days after a treatment. With all her pain and illness she showed me what a positive attitude and faith can do.
Many years later her daughter, Tina would face the same challenge and with two active young sons and a full time job, she didn't have time to be sick. I'm not sure how many of the women in that family have had breast cancer but they have a saying "it's not if I have breast cancer, but when." These brave women are and have been my inspiration for years and so when I was diagnosed I knew that the only thing I could do was do what the "Tarkington" women do and be tough, strong, have faith and a positive attitude. That has been the 'key' to my recovery this year and so I would like to say a special thank you to those special ladies, you are wonderful and I love you.
Now on to the new year and new beginnings, my scans are all clear, my port is out and my energy level is almost back to 'normal' if there can ever be 'normal' after going through breast cancer. I'm looking forward to celebrating life on this earth for sixty years in February. I do have to admit that there have been some times during the holidays that I've been a little depressed because I am alone but those times haven't lasted long when I am reminded of my lovable family and my awesome friends, how could I be sad and lonely.
Christmas was great and I can almost breath the new year. I haven't made any resolutions because I always break them, but I do hope and pray for a healthier, happier new year for myself and for all my sistas who are fighting the battle, we are warriors and we can fight like girls!
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND GOD BLESS YOU!
Happy Thanksgiving
Well here it is only a few days left until Turkey Day! I can remember a few Thanksgivings that my family didn't eat turkey, we had tacos, chili, or catfish. It doesn't matter exactly what you have to eat on Thanksgiving does it, it's being thankful for having the food on the table but more importantly, having the family and friends at the table.
This year I do have so much for which to be thankful. Life, I can honestly say is what I am most thankful for this year. Not just mine but those of my family and friends that I hold so dear in my heart. There's nothing like a little thing called cancer that will wake us up and remind us how precious life is and that we are only here for a short lifetime regardless of how long we live. Let me tell you, the older you get the shorter your lifetime. So I'm very excited about this Thanksgiving and the holiday season and I certainly intend to enjoy everything! The family, the food, the singing, sharing laughs and making memories.
After Thanksgiving I'll be ready to turn my Christmas lights on. I worked last weekend on getting them up and it wasn't too big a mess or there weren't too many lights that didn't work. I'm so glad that I have the energy to get them up and ready. I just love everything about Christmas. But I can tell you I won't be one of those wild crazy shoppers on Black Friday. I'll be eating leftovers at my mom's, I'm crazy but not that crazy LOL and I'll be getting ready to have my port removed on Monday the 30th.
I'll really be glad to get the port out. I'm praying, hoping and thinking positive that I will never need one again and I just don't want to spend a year or two going every month to have it flushed. It would seem to me that I was always having some kind of treatment. So getting the port out and having clear scans by the end of the year will be like the best Christmas present I could have. Of course if anyone has loads of money that they don't need and want to send me on a two week vacation to some tropical island, that would be a great gift as well! :) Really though, I'm just so thankful and happy to be sitting here writing this blog and sharing my thoughts.
Have a wonderful Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy, no matter what's on the table!
This year I do have so much for which to be thankful. Life, I can honestly say is what I am most thankful for this year. Not just mine but those of my family and friends that I hold so dear in my heart. There's nothing like a little thing called cancer that will wake us up and remind us how precious life is and that we are only here for a short lifetime regardless of how long we live. Let me tell you, the older you get the shorter your lifetime. So I'm very excited about this Thanksgiving and the holiday season and I certainly intend to enjoy everything! The family, the food, the singing, sharing laughs and making memories.
After Thanksgiving I'll be ready to turn my Christmas lights on. I worked last weekend on getting them up and it wasn't too big a mess or there weren't too many lights that didn't work. I'm so glad that I have the energy to get them up and ready. I just love everything about Christmas. But I can tell you I won't be one of those wild crazy shoppers on Black Friday. I'll be eating leftovers at my mom's, I'm crazy but not that crazy LOL and I'll be getting ready to have my port removed on Monday the 30th.
I'll really be glad to get the port out. I'm praying, hoping and thinking positive that I will never need one again and I just don't want to spend a year or two going every month to have it flushed. It would seem to me that I was always having some kind of treatment. So getting the port out and having clear scans by the end of the year will be like the best Christmas present I could have. Of course if anyone has loads of money that they don't need and want to send me on a two week vacation to some tropical island, that would be a great gift as well! :) Really though, I'm just so thankful and happy to be sitting here writing this blog and sharing my thoughts.
Have a wonderful Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy, no matter what's on the table!
The Calm After The Storm
It has been awhile since my last post and I have to admit, I've just been lazy and not quite sure what to write. I finished my radiation and my burns have healed, I'm beginning to feel more energetic and I'll have a mammogram at the end of the month.
The only real side effect of the Femera seems to be night sweats at least so far that's all I've noticed.
It doesn't seem like 10 months since I started this journey but it was exactly 10 months ago today that I was diagnosed and of course my life hasn't and never will be the same. After the mammogram I'll see Dr. Hagans, the breast surgeon again. Normally I would dread a mammogram and it's not that I'm looking forward to it, I'm just looking forward to hearing that everything is clear, at least that what I'm hoping and praying for.
I still have my infusion port but my cancer doctor has given me clearance to have it removed before the first of the year. Normally she likes to keep them in a year or two but they have to be flushed every month and that does get expensive. We're thinking positive and hoping I never need another one. Dr. Hagans who also placed my port said on my last visit that it was a little loose anyway. So when I see him the first of November we'll set a date to take that sucker outta there. In December I'll have my six month scans as well.
Isn't it amazing that 2010 is right around the corner? Before we know it the holidays will be here and we'll be making busy making plans. I'm looking forward to having hair again for Christmas...I'll be singing all I want for Christmas is a full head of hair, instead of my two front teeth. LOL No matter what the rest of the year brings, I'm thankful to be finished with all my treatments and to feel better, but I'll never take life for granted again!
And it burns burns burns, that radiation burns!
Since my last post I've had 14 more radiation treatments. Today I had the last one to the overall breast and underarm area and tomorrow I will have either 8 or 10 what they call "booster" treatments to the tumor area on my breast. So I am near the end of my treatments and can now say that yes radiation treatment burns.
A couple weeks ago I noticed that my under arm was feeling more sensitive than normal, you know after lymph node removal you have that numb sensitive feeling. Then last week I noticed that my breast and under arm was starting to get a little red and by the weekend feeling a even more tender. Since I didn't know what to use on it I just used the Udderly Smooth cream and that seemed to soothe it pretty much. That is until Monday morning when I woke up with this aching hot raw skin under my arm.
When I went Monday to have my treatment the doctor looked at it and said yes that looks pretty painful but said I would be getting relief from that area when my booster treatments started in two days. The radiation techs wrote down the name of a cream, Lidocane plus extra strength, and said a lot of people use it and say it's very good. It does seem to soothe and make it feel better but knowing that the radiation is still working in my body makes me wonder just how much worse this burn is going to get before it heals.
I've never really been badly sunburned in my life so I can't even relate to that; however, I've seen some pretty bad sunburns before. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't under my arm right in the bend and of course where skin rubs skin. I keep telling myself though that this will heal, I only have a few more treatments to go and then it will all be over and in a couple months I'll be good as new.
Never will I ever say, I'll be back to normal because after cancer your life is never back to normal. There are cancer free months or years but how can you ever be the same after going through everything that goes with cancer treatment? It changes you not only physically but mentally as well. So I'll just say that I can look forward to not being in treatment and getting my hair back, my strength back and not having to plan my life around my cancer treatments.
Life is good even when we have to suffer and go through pain, there is hope and healing in the end.
A couple weeks ago I noticed that my under arm was feeling more sensitive than normal, you know after lymph node removal you have that numb sensitive feeling. Then last week I noticed that my breast and under arm was starting to get a little red and by the weekend feeling a even more tender. Since I didn't know what to use on it I just used the Udderly Smooth cream and that seemed to soothe it pretty much. That is until Monday morning when I woke up with this aching hot raw skin under my arm.
When I went Monday to have my treatment the doctor looked at it and said yes that looks pretty painful but said I would be getting relief from that area when my booster treatments started in two days. The radiation techs wrote down the name of a cream, Lidocane plus extra strength, and said a lot of people use it and say it's very good. It does seem to soothe and make it feel better but knowing that the radiation is still working in my body makes me wonder just how much worse this burn is going to get before it heals.
I've never really been badly sunburned in my life so I can't even relate to that; however, I've seen some pretty bad sunburns before. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't under my arm right in the bend and of course where skin rubs skin. I keep telling myself though that this will heal, I only have a few more treatments to go and then it will all be over and in a couple months I'll be good as new.
Never will I ever say, I'll be back to normal because after cancer your life is never back to normal. There are cancer free months or years but how can you ever be the same after going through everything that goes with cancer treatment? It changes you not only physically but mentally as well. So I'll just say that I can look forward to not being in treatment and getting my hair back, my strength back and not having to plan my life around my cancer treatments.
Life is good even when we have to suffer and go through pain, there is hope and healing in the end.
Radiation
Today I had my 11th radiation treatment. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel and if the radiation makes me tired or if there are any bad side effects. In all honesty I really have to say that I don't know. The doctor said it might make me feel tired. Well I felt tired before I started radiation because I had just finished my chemo treatments and had a hysterectomy. He also said there might be some redness or blistering of the skin in the breast area or under my arm. That hasn't happened yet so hopefully that won't be a problem. So all in all I guess radiation is a 'piece of cake' compared to chemo, so whoever it was that told me that, they were right.
I have 22 more treatments to complete this phase of my recovery and then I'll see Dr. Harrington again. After that I should only have to see her about every 3 months for a year or so. I also will have another mammogram in September and see Dr. Hagans my breast surgeon and then I don't know how often I will have to see him for checkups and mammograms. It does at last feel like I can actually almost touch the light at the end of the tunnel. This is a great feeling and I am hoping and praying that things continue to go well and that the cancer stays gone!
Really I'm actually feeling pretty good even though I still have a low energy level. Last week I had a stomach bug and I was so sick. As I was sitting on the throne with a trash can in my arms, sweating like crazy, I thought how ironic that I went through chemo and was never sick. I was also reminded of how fortunate I was to have gone through all my chemo treatments without being sick because I know there are a lot of folks who have been very ill during theirs.
All in all life is good and I'm happy to be in it!
PS: The cyst did have a tumor which was a low grade stage one cancer and since all they do for stage one is to remove it, I don't need any further treatment for that. So I never have to see that Dr. again. Hallejuhah!
I have 22 more treatments to complete this phase of my recovery and then I'll see Dr. Harrington again. After that I should only have to see her about every 3 months for a year or so. I also will have another mammogram in September and see Dr. Hagans my breast surgeon and then I don't know how often I will have to see him for checkups and mammograms. It does at last feel like I can actually almost touch the light at the end of the tunnel. This is a great feeling and I am hoping and praying that things continue to go well and that the cancer stays gone!
Really I'm actually feeling pretty good even though I still have a low energy level. Last week I had a stomach bug and I was so sick. As I was sitting on the throne with a trash can in my arms, sweating like crazy, I thought how ironic that I went through chemo and was never sick. I was also reminded of how fortunate I was to have gone through all my chemo treatments without being sick because I know there are a lot of folks who have been very ill during theirs.
All in all life is good and I'm happy to be in it!
PS: The cyst did have a tumor which was a low grade stage one cancer and since all they do for stage one is to remove it, I don't need any further treatment for that. So I never have to see that Dr. again. Hallejuhah!
Spider surgery! It's over! Yippee!!
Hello all! Well surgery is over, I'm doing great just a bit sore but Dr. Stone used the Da Vinci Robotic system to do the surgery so I'm actually doing great! The anesthesiologist said he was using the Michael Jackson drug to put me to sleep but he knew what he was doing. LOL I found that reassuring. He was such a happy guy when he came into the room I asked him if he'd been on the gas himself. I did get to see the robot machine but it was up against the wall so of course I didn't get to see it in action. As soon as I saw my doctors face I was a gonner and woke up 4 hours later in recovery. It took 4 hours to do the surgery, but the nurse was telling us that when they first started using the system it took 13 hours. She told me this because she said they tilt you up with your head down and that I might have some swelling in my face so not to be alarmed. It's amazing what you can learn if you ask questions! LOL
The questionable cyst was sent off to pathology and I'll know the results when I go back for my follow up on July 20th, but everything else in the area there looked good and was clear of disease. I spent the nite in the hospital and the highlight of the evening was when my friend Debbie came to visit and pick up mom.
Her and my mother were discussing the way the room was setup. Since the hospital has now gone to all private rooms, in the old part of the hospital, which is where I was, the rooms now only have one bed. Well the bed was near the window and mom and Debbie discussed how it would be much better for me if the bed was on the other side of the room and it would also make it easier for any visitors. Debbie is one of those people who needs to be doing something and I could tell it was really bothering her, so I asked her if she wanted rearrange the room and she said yes she did. So I got up and her and mom rearranged the room. There was a buzzing that wouldn't stop after they got everything changed so I called the nurse, but we realized before she got there that it was the bed buzzing because it had not been locked.
When the nurse walked in she just cracked up but did say that it was much better that way. In fact every nurse or anyone who came in that worked there made comments about how much better the room was. I tried to catch the action on my camera on video but because I was so loopy on all the meds I didn't manage to get it done. It was really entertaining though watching them unplug this and that and I decided if you ever need a room rearranged or decorated, call Debbie, she can get it done!
Now as I wait to hear about the results of the biopsies, I'll go Monday the 13th to be molded, marked and ct scanned to start my radiation on Wednesday. I'll have 33 treatments so if I don't have to miss any, I should be finished by the end of August. One more step is complete in my road to recovery and I start the last Wednesday. I'm feeling good even with my sore belly and as always, thankful for your prayers and support.
The questionable cyst was sent off to pathology and I'll know the results when I go back for my follow up on July 20th, but everything else in the area there looked good and was clear of disease. I spent the nite in the hospital and the highlight of the evening was when my friend Debbie came to visit and pick up mom.
Her and my mother were discussing the way the room was setup. Since the hospital has now gone to all private rooms, in the old part of the hospital, which is where I was, the rooms now only have one bed. Well the bed was near the window and mom and Debbie discussed how it would be much better for me if the bed was on the other side of the room and it would also make it easier for any visitors. Debbie is one of those people who needs to be doing something and I could tell it was really bothering her, so I asked her if she wanted rearrange the room and she said yes she did. So I got up and her and mom rearranged the room. There was a buzzing that wouldn't stop after they got everything changed so I called the nurse, but we realized before she got there that it was the bed buzzing because it had not been locked.
When the nurse walked in she just cracked up but did say that it was much better that way. In fact every nurse or anyone who came in that worked there made comments about how much better the room was. I tried to catch the action on my camera on video but because I was so loopy on all the meds I didn't manage to get it done. It was really entertaining though watching them unplug this and that and I decided if you ever need a room rearranged or decorated, call Debbie, she can get it done!
Now as I wait to hear about the results of the biopsies, I'll go Monday the 13th to be molded, marked and ct scanned to start my radiation on Wednesday. I'll have 33 treatments so if I don't have to miss any, I should be finished by the end of August. One more step is complete in my road to recovery and I start the last Wednesday. I'm feeling good even with my sore belly and as always, thankful for your prayers and support.
Clear Scans and blue skies!
Wednesday I went to see Dr. Harrington my oncologist for the results of my scans on Monday June 29th. The last ones had been clear so I was hoping that these would too and they were. I didn't sleep much the night before. I didn't have to go there for another chemo treatment and that was great, but even though I had a positive feeling about the scans, hearing the all clear from the doctor was what I was waiting for.
It's been 3 and half weeks since my last chemo and I'm beginning to get some strength back. I don't feel as tired and I'm not as short of breath. I can actually walk out to my mailbox and back without feeling exhausted! At the end of my work day I don't feel as tired and I even drove a van full of clients to Little Rock last week which I haven't been able to do since about the middle of my chemo. I have stubbles on my head so my hair is beginning to grow back but it will be awhile before you can actually see any.
Tomorrow I go to Little Rock to UAMS for my pre operation work and test for my hysterectomy on Thursday. Even though the doctors think the cyst on my ovary is most likely just a cyst, there is a small chance that it could be cancer. The waiting is agonizing and so I'll be so glad to get this over with and of course to hear the ALL CLEAR on that end too, literally! LOL
There going to do robotic surgery hopefully which is less invasive, shorter hospital stay, only over night, and less recovery time. The doctor said it looks like a big ol spider, but assured me they wouldn't just program the robot and leave and go to lunch. I told her it was good thing because I didn't want it looking for a prostate!
So so far I've got clear scans and blue skies and I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND!
I'm thankful for the men and women through the years who fought to make our country free!
It's been 3 and half weeks since my last chemo and I'm beginning to get some strength back. I don't feel as tired and I'm not as short of breath. I can actually walk out to my mailbox and back without feeling exhausted! At the end of my work day I don't feel as tired and I even drove a van full of clients to Little Rock last week which I haven't been able to do since about the middle of my chemo. I have stubbles on my head so my hair is beginning to grow back but it will be awhile before you can actually see any.
Tomorrow I go to Little Rock to UAMS for my pre operation work and test for my hysterectomy on Thursday. Even though the doctors think the cyst on my ovary is most likely just a cyst, there is a small chance that it could be cancer. The waiting is agonizing and so I'll be so glad to get this over with and of course to hear the ALL CLEAR on that end too, literally! LOL
There going to do robotic surgery hopefully which is less invasive, shorter hospital stay, only over night, and less recovery time. The doctor said it looks like a big ol spider, but assured me they wouldn't just program the robot and leave and go to lunch. I told her it was good thing because I didn't want it looking for a prostate!
So so far I've got clear scans and blue skies and I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND!
I'm thankful for the men and women through the years who fought to make our country free!
No More Chemo!
My friend Val from Cordova Tn, sent me this ribbon on Wednesday to celebrate my graduation! She's the one that also sent me the lovely bracelet when I was first diagnosed. Thank you so much Val for your friendship, thoughts and prayers and your gift of love and hope.
Wednesday June 10th, I graduated from chemo treatment! Someone donated a bell wall plaque to the chemo treatment room in Little Rock where I go to the doctor. It has a neat saying on about ringing the bell three times to declare that your chemo treatment is done. I never heard anybody ring the bell since I started going although I do know that some folks have completed their treatments since I was there, I just wasn't there on the day they had their last treatment. But Wednesday I got to experience first hand being the bell ringer.
When you are finished with your treatment, one of the nurses proclaims to the room that "we have a bell ringer" and you go up to the plaque and read the inscription out loud and then ring the bell three times to proclaim your end of chemo! It's a celebration that only starts there with the ringing of that bell. There is such a relief, a feeling of freedom and triumphant victory at completing one stage in your treatment of cancer when you know that is the last treatment.
I got to move the last pink bracelet to my left wrist, leaving my right wrist, pink free! I got to ring the bell to proclaim my chemo was over. I got to celebrate by eating at the Red Lobster with Jimmie who has been such a wonderful support person and always there. I stopped to visit my longest and such a dear friend from childhood, Reba on the way home and to top it off had a strawberry shortcake from the Bulldog resturauant in Baldknob. When I got home on Wednesday I was totally exhausted but even so, I've never felt so good. It's just great to know that there is NO MORE CHEMO!!!
Have a great weekend! When I get the pictures of the plaque and bell I will post them here for you to see!
Changes
Last week at work we received a memo from our CEO informing us that our company is struggling. In order to prevent lay offs, everyone in the company, including him would be required to take one or two days leave without pay a month depending on your salary. Hopefully, he wrote, that by September everything would be good and we would return to normal. A day without pay is a sacrifice that will no doubt be harder on some of us than on others, but it's the way it has to be and I sure hate to think of anyone being layed off. Changes take place and we just learn to deal with them, roll with the punches and pray that things will be okay.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and all the changes that have taken place in my life have been for some reason. No matter if the changes have caused hurt, emotional, physical or in the case of the leave without pay day, financial stress, it all happens for a reason and we grow, learn and become stronger because of the changes. Having cancer brings about major changes in your life and some of them are for the better.
Since I was diagnosed with BC I've been more aware of everything around me and things that I normally take for granted are precious to me now. Each day's a blessing and regardless what I'm doing for the day, I'm glad I'm alive to do it. I have a job that I love so going in to work is something I look forward to anyway, hanging and doing things with friends is always a pleasure, being with my family is precious time spent and even just being at home sitting outside on the porch listening to and watching the birds is a wonderful experience. At anytime, any of this events could change, people come into our lives everyday and some leave. Seasons change, the birds fly south, and companies change their policies and procedures.
Life is a series of changing events and a lot of times we can't do anything to control those events so we just hang in there and do the best we can. For those of us who have been diagnosed with cancer, we hang on with both hands, our feet and every ounce of strength we have. We celebrate little things such as finishing a round or cycle of chemo or radiation and most definetly, clear scans and test results. I'm thankful that mine have all been good and I'm so excited about completing my cycle of round number six on Wednesday of chemo.
I've got 5 pink braclets on my left wrist each one represents one round of chemo, I only have to put one more on that wrist to complete my cycle. When I start my radiaton, I'll move them back to my right wrist and each week I complete of radiation, I will move one back to my left wrist. It's a visual aid that reminds me, as if I needed it, LOL that my treatments are coming to an end and the changes that they have caused within my body are all for the good! So I say let's celebrate change and enjoy life, one pink braclet at a time!
Battery Life!
About a month ago I bought a new cordless weed eater because I couldn't pull start my other one. So this cordless one has two batteries that you charge up and just plug into the weed eater and then push the button and do the job. Each battery last about 15 minutes. It's the perfect chemo weed eater because when the battery on the weed eater runs down, so does mine! You can put the other battery in for another 15 minutes work but I'm finding that I need a recharge myself before I use the other battery.
Other folks who've experienced chemo told me that the more chemo treatments you have the more exhausted you get and I really believe that now. The first couple of treatments didn't seem to bother me too much as far as a big drop in energy. I mean I've never been a mountain climber or long distance runner so I'm kinda a snail energy person anyway. LOL I do believe that having started a daily exercise program last summer did help to get me in better shape and more prepared for chemo. Lord knows how hard it might have been if I was still a couch tater!
I can really tell the drop in energy though this last chemo. My blood counts have been lower this time and I just tire so easily. Thank goodness I only have one more chemo to go. I do love to work out in my yard but this year if I can just keep the grass looking decent I'll be happy. It doesn't take too much energy to get on my little red lawn mower and cut the grass and I can weed eat one battery at a time. I'm just thankful that I have the energy to take care of my house, a large yard and work a full time job.
There are days like today though that I don't feel as well, that I don't sleep much and when the alarm goes off in the morning I'm just too tired to get up. I haven't had many of them but last night was not a good night for me, I didn't sleep well and I had some of those body aches felt sick. I turned my alarm off and instead of putting my feet on the floor, I put my head back down on the pillow and fell asleep. I woke up and it was almost 9am, feeling a bit disoriented I called in to work and told them I wouldn't be in this morning. I have felt like I've been in a daze all day but I'm beginning to liven up a bit and my battery feels like it's recharged at least some.
I'm feeling positive and excited that next Wednesday is my last chemo. I'm wondering now how long it will be until my hair grows back, how long it will be before I start feeling more energy and how the radiation is going to effect me. At least another process in my recovery will be complete and I and I will live my life for now, one battery at a time!
Other folks who've experienced chemo told me that the more chemo treatments you have the more exhausted you get and I really believe that now. The first couple of treatments didn't seem to bother me too much as far as a big drop in energy. I mean I've never been a mountain climber or long distance runner so I'm kinda a snail energy person anyway. LOL I do believe that having started a daily exercise program last summer did help to get me in better shape and more prepared for chemo. Lord knows how hard it might have been if I was still a couch tater!
I can really tell the drop in energy though this last chemo. My blood counts have been lower this time and I just tire so easily. Thank goodness I only have one more chemo to go. I do love to work out in my yard but this year if I can just keep the grass looking decent I'll be happy. It doesn't take too much energy to get on my little red lawn mower and cut the grass and I can weed eat one battery at a time. I'm just thankful that I have the energy to take care of my house, a large yard and work a full time job.
There are days like today though that I don't feel as well, that I don't sleep much and when the alarm goes off in the morning I'm just too tired to get up. I haven't had many of them but last night was not a good night for me, I didn't sleep well and I had some of those body aches felt sick. I turned my alarm off and instead of putting my feet on the floor, I put my head back down on the pillow and fell asleep. I woke up and it was almost 9am, feeling a bit disoriented I called in to work and told them I wouldn't be in this morning. I have felt like I've been in a daze all day but I'm beginning to liven up a bit and my battery feels like it's recharged at least some.
I'm feeling positive and excited that next Wednesday is my last chemo. I'm wondering now how long it will be until my hair grows back, how long it will be before I start feeling more energy and how the radiation is going to effect me. At least another process in my recovery will be complete and I and I will live my life for now, one battery at a time!
# 5 On the downhill slide!
Well here it is Memorial Day Weekend at the end of May and whod'a thought in January that I'd be in chemotherapy. Life just happens and even though we can plan for our retirement, for our vacations, to plant a garden, do this or that, we can't nor do we want to plan for cancer. When it happens we just deal with it and do what we have to get through the best we can.
That's what I've done for the past few months and now I'm finished with round number 5 of my 6 rounds of chemo. It certainly is very draining and I find myself getting exhausted very easily these days. My fingernails and toenails are turning dark, my skin is getting dryer, and my mouth is much more sensitive. I have to use a baby tooth brush or sometimes just qutips because my gums bleed so easily. My head is very sore and I'm not sure if I'm growing or losing more hair. LOL
These things are really only trivial compared to the havoc that others have to endure. I still feel very fortunate that my body is tolerating the chemo this well. I can paint my nails to cover up the dark ugly nails, use buckets of udder cream to put moisture back in my skin, rinse my mouth with the baking soda and salt rinse and take lots of Tylenol for the aches and pains that the Neulasta shot causes. These things are only temporary and soon my chemo will be complete.
After my last chemo, I'll have more scans and if they are all clear then I'll start the 6 weeks of radiation. Although I'm certainly not looking forward to that, it's just yet another process in the road to recovery and that is the name of the game. RECOVERY!
Have a great holiday weekend and since it's Memorial Day Weekend.. makes some memories!
That's what I've done for the past few months and now I'm finished with round number 5 of my 6 rounds of chemo. It certainly is very draining and I find myself getting exhausted very easily these days. My fingernails and toenails are turning dark, my skin is getting dryer, and my mouth is much more sensitive. I have to use a baby tooth brush or sometimes just qutips because my gums bleed so easily. My head is very sore and I'm not sure if I'm growing or losing more hair. LOL
These things are really only trivial compared to the havoc that others have to endure. I still feel very fortunate that my body is tolerating the chemo this well. I can paint my nails to cover up the dark ugly nails, use buckets of udder cream to put moisture back in my skin, rinse my mouth with the baking soda and salt rinse and take lots of Tylenol for the aches and pains that the Neulasta shot causes. These things are only temporary and soon my chemo will be complete.
After my last chemo, I'll have more scans and if they are all clear then I'll start the 6 weeks of radiation. Although I'm certainly not looking forward to that, it's just yet another process in the road to recovery and that is the name of the game. RECOVERY!
Have a great holiday weekend and since it's Memorial Day Weekend.. makes some memories!
All Clear on number 4!
Great news! Yesterday I had my 4th chemo and got the test results of my all my scrans from Monday, hallejuhah they were all clear with the exception of course of the cyst on my ovary that we are watching and taking care! It does appear that I have arthritis in most of my body, is that old age or can I blame this on the chemo.. surely it has to be the cancer, the chemo or something.. I'm only 39 right Tina? LOL
It does seem like the 4th chemo went very fast and I made some new friends who happen to be from Batesville or all places. Fred and Anna, she was there to get a treatment for Hogkins Lymphoma I beleive she said. They acutally live right around the corner from me. And I got an email address from Stepanie another breast cancer survivor because her treatments are changing and I may not see her again in treatment, but we plan on meeting up at the Race for the Cure in October. It's always great making new friends but I surely my the ones I had already are the ones who make is so easy to go through all this and so again I have to say thank you to them.
Jimmie brought me down to chemo and stayed with me taking naps in his truck and then took me to Chili's where he fed me and handed me off to Angella who brought me back to his house of the river..my haven and Jmmmie says, "my bed and breakfast". Brent, Angella's fella, a very sweet guy, was able to meet us at Chili's as well. He was my hero the first trip I had to make to Little Rock to see Dr. Hagans when we had that huge ice storm. Angella was going to take me and Brent came to our rescue, and we certainly were happy to see him! So I salute my hero's Jimmie and Brent and I am eternally grateful for Angella and her continuous friendship for the past almost 7 years now.
Back at the river house I relaxed, enjoyed sitting out on the porch swing watching the river, soaking in that big ol tub and watching the American Idol results show. Our Arkansas boy is still in the race and now it's going to be even harder because I think the four that are left are very good and they will most likely have wonderful music careers regardless of who wins the title.
Well I'm getting rained on out here on the porch this morning so I'm retreating to the house, a shower, a cup of coffee and then unfortnately, pack up and back to Batesville to take my Nuelasta shot and then get back to the work grind. I'm happy.. I'm satisified and I'm so grateful that even though cancer does suck.. therer is truely a light at the end of the tunnel.. so if you can't see it in the begginng.. just keep looking.. you'll see it.. OHHHH I'M GETTING WET.. HANG ON LAPTOP..
It does seem like the 4th chemo went very fast and I made some new friends who happen to be from Batesville or all places. Fred and Anna, she was there to get a treatment for Hogkins Lymphoma I beleive she said. They acutally live right around the corner from me. And I got an email address from Stepanie another breast cancer survivor because her treatments are changing and I may not see her again in treatment, but we plan on meeting up at the Race for the Cure in October. It's always great making new friends but I surely my the ones I had already are the ones who make is so easy to go through all this and so again I have to say thank you to them.
Jimmie brought me down to chemo and stayed with me taking naps in his truck and then took me to Chili's where he fed me and handed me off to Angella who brought me back to his house of the river..my haven and Jmmmie says, "my bed and breakfast". Brent, Angella's fella, a very sweet guy, was able to meet us at Chili's as well. He was my hero the first trip I had to make to Little Rock to see Dr. Hagans when we had that huge ice storm. Angella was going to take me and Brent came to our rescue, and we certainly were happy to see him! So I salute my hero's Jimmie and Brent and I am eternally grateful for Angella and her continuous friendship for the past almost 7 years now.
Back at the river house I relaxed, enjoyed sitting out on the porch swing watching the river, soaking in that big ol tub and watching the American Idol results show. Our Arkansas boy is still in the race and now it's going to be even harder because I think the four that are left are very good and they will most likely have wonderful music careers regardless of who wins the title.
Well I'm getting rained on out here on the porch this morning so I'm retreating to the house, a shower, a cup of coffee and then unfortnately, pack up and back to Batesville to take my Nuelasta shot and then get back to the work grind. I'm happy.. I'm satisified and I'm so grateful that even though cancer does suck.. therer is truely a light at the end of the tunnel.. so if you can't see it in the begginng.. just keep looking.. you'll see it.. OHHHH I'M GETTING WET.. HANG ON LAPTOP..
Look Good Feel Better
Monday I went to a Look Good Feel Better program session. It's a program service for women with cancer who are going through chemotherapy and other treatments that helps them look better and then of course feel better. The sessions last about two hours and you get a bag with free makeup from sponsors like Clinique, Avon, Channel and other name brands. I also got to order a wig and was given a used one. I don't know if all of the LGFB programs do this but we did here in Batesville. It was a pretty neat experience and I got to take my friend Reba with me. She didn't get the free makeup and she doesn't need a wig but she is interested in volunteering for the program, in fact we both would like to be volunteers in this program but we have to go through training and they don't' have it too often. It is a very good service though and I really appreciate the founders of this program. I hope some day that I can give back for all the has been given to me.
Last Friday I went to a mini Relay for Life and walked a survivors lap, it felt good to think of myself as a survivor. It was only a small crowd but a lot of people were there walking. It was sponsored by the Batesville school district elementary schools. The schools had different booths and were selling raffle tickets, cupcakes, and other things. My friends Kevin and Katie were there to walk the lap with me. Katie's daughter, Sullivan is in the Westside performing arts school and they did a dance routine. The kids were so cute performing their routines. The big Relay for Life is May 29th and I'll be there for that one too and I'm going to a Survivors Banquet May 22nd. Then in October I'll be going to Little Rock to walk and take part in the Race for the Cure, for Breast Cancer...
On another note, I picked up the two bottles of barium contrast to drink on Sunday night and Monday morning for my scans. I have been scheduled for a bone scan, brain scan and CT scans of the chest, gastric tract and pelvic area. Since nothing has ever showed up in any of my scans except for the cyst on my ovary, I'm hoping that everything will be clear. I'll know that on next Wednesday when I go for my fourth chemo.
I'm really ready to get this fourth one finished so I can be on the downhill side of my chemo treatments. Still no nausea and I'm so thankful for that. What I have found with each chemo is that I do tire more easily and that the sun absolutely drains me, if I'm out in it too long. My blood counts continue to be good and so thank the good Lord everything is going well.
As always I'm so thankful for my friends who are always there to lend a helping hand in any situation. Whenever I feel so exhausted that I don't want to move, I start to feel a little sad and lonely and then I remember my family and my friends and how fortunate I am to be surrounded with love from them all.....then I don't feel sad and lonely anymore.
That's all for now, stay tuned for an update...whenever!!!
Halfway there!
It was a great day on Saturday before Easter after my third chemo and I'm halway there to the finish line! Yippee!!!! Jimmie is an excellent host and he always teases me about his bed & breakfast accomodations, but in truth, it's much better than any places I've stayed. His beautiful river house has seen guest from all around the country and he's even had a wedding there on his dock. So I'm very grateful that he takes the time out of his busy schedule to be my friend and to go with me through this chemo ride. Not only does he take me to my chemo treatment but he provides me with a comforting place to rest and relax after each treatment. God is great isn't he to bring folks like this into your life!
Saturday morning we got up and took Jimmie's fishing boat to the river ramp to launch it so we could float downstream. It was quite an adventure since it was the first time it had been put in the water and we didn't know exactly how it was going to run. Well it spit and sputted and then it just putter along, quitting a couple times at which time Jimmie had to pull start the engine again. That was okay because he sat back by the motor while I got to drive the boat. We made the three mile trip down river to his house and docked.
After getting refreshments, you gotta have those when you fish, Jimmie showed me how to bait a hook with some stinky bait and how to cast the rod. My first catch of the day was tree, mmmm delicious! After a few tries I did manage to get the hook into the right area around the dock and set the pole down and take my place in the chair. NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL FISHING! Jimmie kept telling me I would know when I had a bite and sure enough when that line started tugging I realed in a HUGE FISH.. look in the picture! Well maybe it wasn't huge, but I can't ever remember catching a fish so it was HUGE to me! Never fear though the little thing was happy to be set free and swim back under the dock to grow up and be caught again someday.
Karen came over and we went for another boat ride. This time we went back up the river all the way to the dam as far as you can take your boat and then we took the boat out of the water. It was a great day for a ride, a little windy but the sun felt good and thankfully I had enough energy to get through the day and enjoy it. After a delcious dinner with the neigbors I was completely exhuasted but feeling very happy.
Easter Sunday was rainy and cool and I felt the brunt of my chemo and Nuelasta shot and didn't make it to church. Those body aches and some of those other uncomfortable side effects took over and I was wiped out for most of the day. Still no nausea or throwing up and I'm grateful for that and not complaining but my energy level is really low right now. Even after a good nights sleep on Sunday I wasn't energized by Monday and only worked through noon. I've rested and slept most of the afternoon but I still feel very tired. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
I've come to understand the "exhausted" phase of chemo...and I must admit, I DON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH! I do know that I have to listen to my body and get rest but it really is a pain when the energy levels have been so great. You think I can't believe I'm going through chemo and then it hits! Pure exhaustion and feeling like you've worked all day long doing manual labor. But kick that ol PMA (positive mental attitude) in and say... this too shall pass! The good days outweigh the bad and that's a good thing! (gosh, do I sound like Martha Stewart)? oh my gawd! LOL
Hit me one more time with those side effects! (CLICK TO READ ABOUT CHEMO SIDE EFFECTS)
The drugs that go into your body during chemotherapy are toxic waste! LOL Well, almost but they have to be deadly to kills cancer cells, the only down side to that is that they kill healthy cells as well. That's why we lose our hair, our nails turn black, our skin gets dry, we feel tired more easily, we forget things when we have that chemo brain going on.....and..HMMMMM I forgot what I was writing about! LOL Oh yeah chemo side effects, that's it! I'm very lucky that I haven't been nauseated or sick during my chemo, I'm fortunate that my CBC's (blood count levels) have been good because when those get low it's not good. In fact today was the first time in my life that I was told by a doctor not to lose weight! Even though my taste buds are changing and I can understand why Tina said,"who wants to eat a spoon" when everything has a metallic taste. Although chocolate and ice cream still taste pretty good to me so I'm good to go! lol and I had a good report as well today.
It was my third chemo and I'm halfway through my treatment. As Dr. Harrington was examining me today, she asked me if I was checking my breast regularly and thought she felt a lump. I told her that I had a cyst in the right breast that Dr. Hagans said was only a cyst and had showed me on the mammogram the difference between a lump with cancer and a just a lump. But as we were talking about that my mind was racing with thoughts and in the back of my mind it was screaming 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BOTH THOSE BOOBS SLICED OFF AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT!'
So what about second thoughts... should I have chosen the other option of having a full mastectomy?.....when will I not be afraid of finding more lumps? here's where I had to kick that ole negative bitch in the butt and say....PMA RULES..SO GET OUTTA MY BACKDOOR MIND! and so .....
On the positive side, Dr. Harrington said I was doing very well with my treatment and is pleased with all my labs. I will be having scans before my next chemo to see if the chemo is working or if there is any cancer showing up anywhere in my body. I'm thinking positive here and ahead of time hoping and praying that that will be the case. My friend Barbara, owner of the green wig, said that every time she had a chemo treatment she felt it killing the cancer and she knew she was getting better. I liked hearing that and I think that's a great way to look at all the side effects. They are only temporary and each time that toxic waste goes into my body, those little cancer cells are disappearing...the good healthy cells are too, but they will rebuild and I'll be as good as new..no wait let me restate that.. I'LL BE BETTER THAN EVER! Because I'll be a winner...a survivor...I'll be alive and well and I'll never forget that.
I'll never be afraid to tell people I love them and I hope that my actions will show them that as well. I'll always look for ways to help others and give back because I've been given so much. I'll take time to spend time with my family and friends and make phone calls and write emails and send cards. I'll enjoy getting out and having the strength to work in my yard and enjoy each changing season. I'll go to bed when I'm tired even though it's only 7pm or stay up late if I want to and surf the net, watch TV, or make something crafty. I'll wear silly hats and wigs and fun clothes and jewelery and wont' care what other people think, if it makes someone smile or laugh, then it's worth the weird stares. What I will do is enjoy life, be grateful for each day and on days that I am bitching about something that doesn't matter a hill of beans....I hope one of my wonderful friends will kick my butt and remind me that I don't have anything to bitch about!
LIFE IS GOOD AND I'M GLAD I'M IN IT!
It was my third chemo and I'm halfway through my treatment. As Dr. Harrington was examining me today, she asked me if I was checking my breast regularly and thought she felt a lump. I told her that I had a cyst in the right breast that Dr. Hagans said was only a cyst and had showed me on the mammogram the difference between a lump with cancer and a just a lump. But as we were talking about that my mind was racing with thoughts and in the back of my mind it was screaming 'YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD BOTH THOSE BOOBS SLICED OFF AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT!'
So what about second thoughts... should I have chosen the other option of having a full mastectomy?.....when will I not be afraid of finding more lumps? here's where I had to kick that ole negative bitch in the butt and say....PMA RULES..SO GET OUTTA MY BACKDOOR MIND! and so .....
On the positive side, Dr. Harrington said I was doing very well with my treatment and is pleased with all my labs. I will be having scans before my next chemo to see if the chemo is working or if there is any cancer showing up anywhere in my body. I'm thinking positive here and ahead of time hoping and praying that that will be the case. My friend Barbara, owner of the green wig, said that every time she had a chemo treatment she felt it killing the cancer and she knew she was getting better. I liked hearing that and I think that's a great way to look at all the side effects. They are only temporary and each time that toxic waste goes into my body, those little cancer cells are disappearing...the good healthy cells are too, but they will rebuild and I'll be as good as new..no wait let me restate that.. I'LL BE BETTER THAN EVER! Because I'll be a winner...a survivor...I'll be alive and well and I'll never forget that.
I'll never be afraid to tell people I love them and I hope that my actions will show them that as well. I'll always look for ways to help others and give back because I've been given so much. I'll take time to spend time with my family and friends and make phone calls and write emails and send cards. I'll enjoy getting out and having the strength to work in my yard and enjoy each changing season. I'll go to bed when I'm tired even though it's only 7pm or stay up late if I want to and surf the net, watch TV, or make something crafty. I'll wear silly hats and wigs and fun clothes and jewelery and wont' care what other people think, if it makes someone smile or laugh, then it's worth the weird stares. What I will do is enjoy life, be grateful for each day and on days that I am bitching about something that doesn't matter a hill of beans....I hope one of my wonderful friends will kick my butt and remind me that I don't have anything to bitch about!
LIFE IS GOOD AND I'M GLAD I'M IN IT!
IBC - Inflammatory Breast Cancer
There's more than one kind of breast cancer and a lot of people don't know about this one.
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